This time I met her right after work and was in a very tame costume -- a black cut-out onesie and violet lipstick. We met at an underground cocktail bar, the kind of pretentious place that refers to bartenders as "mixologists" and pours egg whites into alcoholic drinks.
And suddenly I knew what my co-worker meant by the "third date shift."I wasn't teeming with social anxiety because I already had spent one date doing that and I had spent another date listening to her story. I was able to be present with the blue-eyed babe, able to get lost in the heat of the moment.
As a result, nearly all women grow up internalizing the message that they are not as valued and lauded by society as males are.
On top of growing up in a patriarchal culture, women who are same-sex oriented also live and evolve in a homophobic society.
The third date is when you stop projecting your own shit onto the other person and get a little more, dare I say, real.