And if that person broke things off in a way that was mean or dismissive — or reacted to your breakup in a rude or hostile way — well, that’s on them, and it reinforces that this not your future life partner.
In the immortal words of Dan Savage, "Closure isn’t something you get, it’s something you do." If that potential mate you just ended things with needs to convince him- or herself (and, in fact, alert you) that you’re crazy, fine.
Of course, talking about gender-based preferences in grand, sweeping terms ignores the bazillions of exceptions.
(Exhibit A: When I asked for opinions on Facebook, virtually every respondent — male, female, cis, straight, or LGBTQ — advocated for honesty, ripping off the bandage as soon as you know you’re done dating.
“Sometimes, it’s easier and less painful for everyone if you drop clear hints,” rather than putting it bluntly, says Paul, 28 (who’s gay, but also my trusted guru on how men think).