(My wife ignores my instructions and actually spends money trying to satisfy these adolescent appetites, which is a bit like trying to warm a winter day by turning up the heat and opening your windows.) Anyway, the world is positively teeming with teenagers, and as long as people continue to think about starting a family, the trend is likely to continue. I am only willing to accept the blame for the ones that my wife caused and have taken educational measures with her to make sure it doesn't happen again.
Inevitably, though, someone always makes a joke about our kids marrying each other some day. You might think these kinds of jokes are innocent, but there are a few reasons why I won't joke with my BFF about planning our kids' wedding.
Before you tell me to lighten up and not be so sensitive, consider the idea that talking about who your kids might marry before they are even out of diapers is presumptive, heteronormative, and sort of implies that parents should have a say.
If a daughter fails to save enough money to purchase a homecoming dress, why, then, she doesn't get a homecoming dress! Having a teenage daughter puts you in what is commonly referred to as a "punting situation." However, there is no receiving team on the field, so you're going to have to carry the ball yourself.
(Naturally, no one else in the family agrees with this.) There are a few exceptions to this now-is-the-time-to-experience-some-of-life's-pitfalls philosophy: some calamities, such as teenage boys, are viewed as still too dangerous for your daughters in all but the most controlled of situations. It's not going to be easy - in fact, I'm pretty sure it's impossible.
- Your gas tank is always empty and your laundry basket is always full.